Because can you ever really know which emotion you’ll end up with?
1. Into The Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes
In this thriller, the thin line between love and hate is called obsessive-compulsive disorder. Right now the Kindle version is $1.99, but the relief you’ll get from knowing you aren’t dating a psychopath who gets his kicks messing with your head is priceless.
2. No Way To Treat A First Lady by Christopher Buckley
Christopher Buckley, the king of satire, puts the first lady on trial for killing her cheating, no-good husband, who also happens to be the commander-in-chief. Hilarious and perfect for people who want to kill their spouses, but can’t because either their conscious or the secret service is watching 24/7.
3. Apple Tree Yard by Louise Doughty
Yvonne and her lover are in a steamy affair. Or they are on trial for… something? This steadily paced novel clods from passion towards disaster, like a sexy Valentine’s Day train crashing off it’s tracks.
In these thrillers, the difference between a happy marriage and all hell breaking loose is the fact that everyone is secretly a spy. Yes, I said it. SPIES. Spies have no time for valentines. Spies turn valentines to ice with their cold spy hearts.
5. The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis
If you haven’t read this classic contemporary novel, or watched the movie adaptation, there’s no better time than this Valentine’s Day.
6. As She Climbed Across the Table by Jonathan Lethem
The best love stories are those in which people are in love with . . . a void? Only Lethem could make this romance, between a physicist and the void she’s created, work.
7. Savages by Don Winslow
As with The Rules of Attraction, if you haven’t met the Californian kings of cool Don Winslow introduces in Savages, or watched the movie adaptation of their wacky love triangle, now may be the time.
8. The Great Night by Chris Adrian
Chris Adrian is one of my favorite authors, and no list is complete without him or A.M. Homes. The Great Night is a modern taken on A Midsummer Night’s Dream, in which three people enter Buena Vista Park in San Francisco from opposite directions. There are also faeries.
9. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
There is a love story here, wrapped up in many horrible, beautiful things. I know so many people who said they disliked, or couldn’t finish this book. I do not understand these people.
10. Thrown by Kerry Howley
Who am I kidding, sometimes you just want to punch a guy in the face, right? Forget all this Valentine’s stuff. Kerry Howley’s creative non-fiction work Thrown combines the real lives of two mixed martial arts fighters with an intensely obsessive fictional philosophy student, Kit, who embeds with them seeking ecstatic experience. Sound confusing? Just go with it, and enjoy a romp in the world of cage fighting.